What just happened here?
- Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
- Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
- Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
- Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
- Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
- Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
- An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
- A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
- Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
- An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
- A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
- Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
- An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
- Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
- Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
- Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
- Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
- Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
- A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
- A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
- Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
- PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
- Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
- Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
- An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
- Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
- Cows: The shit you go through.
- This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
This Woman Will Die on November 1st, 2014: Meet Brittany Maynard, A 29-Year-Old Woman With Terminally-Ill Cancer That Is Bringing Death-With-Dignity To The Forefront of America, By Fighting For The Choice to End Her Life On Her Own Terms [TW: Assisted Suicide, Suicide]
Brittany Maynard will die Nov. 1. The 29-year-old chose that date because it’s two days after her husband’s birthday, and she wanted to celebrate it with him one last time before she takes her own life.
Maynard has chosen to die with dignity in her own home and surrounded by her loved ones to avoid the unnecessary suffering that will surely accompany a rapidly-progressing, malignant brain cancer called glioblastoma multiforme.
On Jan. 1, Maynard’s doctors told her she had 10 years to live. “I have to tell you, when you’re 29 years old, being told you have that kind of timeline still feels like being told you’re going to die tomorrow,” she saidin a video describing her situation. But shortly after that, the disease progressed, leaving her with just six months to live. Maynard doesn’t want to die, but also didn’t want to spend her last months on Earth fighting a pointless and painful battle.
Watch Maynard share her story below:
"I can’t even tell you the amount of relief that it provides me to know that I don’t have to die the way that it’s been described to me, that my brain tumor would take me on its own," Maynard added. Loved ones in the video express their support forher decision.
Making her own choice. Only five states in the U.S. currently have death-with-dignity laws, so earlier this year, Maynard moved to Oregon, where she’d be able to legally access medication that will quickly and painlessly end her life (the other four are Montana, New Mexico, Vermont and Washington). But Maynard wants to make it clear that this is not a suicide.
"There is not a cell in my body that is suicidal or that wants to die," she told People. “I want to live. I wish there was a cure for my disease but there’s not. My glioblastoma is going to kill me, and that’s out of my control. I’ve discussed with many experts how I would die from it, and it’s a terrible, terrible way to die. Being able to choose to go with dignity is less terrifying.”
With her remaining days, Maynard is spending time with her loved ones, traveling and fighting for everyone else in the country to have the same right to control the time and setting of their own passing. As part of that effort, the Brittany Maynard Fund and Compassion & Choices released videotaped testimony telling her story, which is to be played for California legislators and the public arguing for a right to assisted suicide in cases of terminal illness.
Death with dignity in America. Oregon has provided its citizens with the right to medically assisted end-of-life care since 1997, when the Death with Dignity Act was signed into law. Drugs that result in death are prescribed to patients, who can then choose to take them or not at their own carefully considered time. Since its passage, the state government reports that DWDA deaths have slowly but steadily increased as terminally ill Oregonians seek to avoid unnecessary pain and suffering. As seen in the chart below, not everyone who receives the lethal prescriptions avails themselves of the option; in 2013, just 71 of 122 recipients carried out the procedure.
Only those 18 and older may participate and must have a diagnosis of certain death within six months. It does not allow euthanasia, in which a doctor administers the drugs. Persons qualifying for the DWDA must ingest the drugs themselves, though they do so with medical support.
The Oregon Health Authority says that roughly 69% of DWDA patients were 65 or older and almost 65% had cancer, while many other suffered from respiratory disease or other severe illnesses. Almost all, 97.2%, were able to die at home, rather than at a hospital, hospice or care facility. Nationally, just 25% of Americans die at home, though 7 in 10 would prefer to do so.
Elsewhere in America. In 2007, California’s Compassionate Choices Act was defeated in the state Senate. Maynard was forced to leave California for Portland to seek out medical assistance and has since devoted the story of her struggle with cancer to ensure future patients have the same rights in their home states that she has been granted in Oregon. Think Progress’ Tara Culp-Ressler reports that Compassionate & Choices is building a national campaign to push end-of-life legislation in several states:In addition to advocating for eliminating unnecessary and expensive medical treatment that elderly patients may not want, the group is currently campaigning for “right to die” legislation in California, Colorado, New Jersey, Massachusetts, and Connecticut.
Most Americans do believe that terminally ill patients should be able to seek assistance from a doctor to die, but support for the issue is particularly dependent on the language used to describe it. When it’s framed in terms of a doctor helping “to end the patient’s life by some painless means” — rather than in terms of “suicide” — public support for these policies increases by nearly 20 percentage points.
Compassion & Choices’ website is filled with similar testimonials, such as this sad but uplifting tale of a 90-year-old mother suffering from age-related conditions who was able to give her family a “joyous goodbye.” Maynard’s campaign is particularly striking given her youth and well-spoken defense of her decision to die with dignity, which makes her story even more relatable to those on the fence about compassionate-care laws. Hopefully, more states will listen and allow patients to choose their own way out of life and to whatever lies next, rather than let them suffer.
Early in my freshman year, my dad asked me if there were lots of Latinos at school. I wanted to say, “Pa, I’m one of the only Latinos in most of my classes. The other brown faces I see mostly are the landscapers’. I think of you when I see them sweating in the morning sun. I remember you were a landscaper when you first came to Illinois in the 1950s. And look, Pa! Now I’m in college!”
But I didn’t.
I just said, “No, Pa. There’s a few Latinos, mostly Puerto Rican, few Mexicans. But all the landscapers are Mexican.”
My dad responded, “¡Salúdelos, m’ijo!”
So when I walked by the Mexican men landscaping each morning, I said, “Buenos días.”
Recently, I realized what my dad really meant. I remembered learning the Mexican, or Latin American, tradition of greeting people when one enters a room. In my Mexican family, my parents taught me to be “bien educado” by greeting people who were in a room already when I entered. The tradition puts the responsibility of the person who arrives to greet those already there. If I didn’t follow the rule as a kid, my parents admonished me with a back handed slap on my back and the not-so-subtle hint: “¡Saluda!”
I caught myself tapping my 8-year-old son’s back the other day when he didn’t greet one of our friends: “Adrian! ¡Saluda!”
However, many of my white colleagues over the years followed a different tradition of ignorance. “Maleducados,” ol’ school Mexican grandmothers would call them.
But this Mexican tradition is not about the greeting—it’s about the acknowledgment. Greeting people when you enter a room is about acknowledging other people’s presence and showing them that you don’t consider yourself superior to them.
When I thought back to the conversation between my dad and me in 1990, I realized that my dad was not ordering me to greet the Mexican landscapers with a “Good morning.”
Instead, my father wanted me to acknowledge them, to always acknowledge people who work with their hands like he had done as a farm worker, a landscaper, a mechanic. My father with a 3rd grade education wanted me to work with my mind but never wanted me to think myself superior because I earned a college degree and others didn’t.
Saluden Muchachxs, saluden.(via recordmachine)